First Day of Work
Firsts are very important things, so today I write about my first day of work.
... Well, there's nothing much to write about, actually. I came to the office on time, I spent some time settling into my new role as an employee of an organization (and as a taxpaying citizen of Philippine society), I met with my superiors, and I read and I read and I read.
Maybe firsts don't always have to be a bang. Or maybe it isn't the bang that makes a first; it's just the fact that it is one.
One thing I realized, though... has nothing to do with the work I did. I realized that in the corporate world, if one does not have even the tiniest sense of one's own person, then it is very easy to be small. I do something that perhaps a million other people around the world do: I struggle with financial terms, I get lost in the complexity of words and numbers, I pretend that it's all perfectly manageable, although a tiny voice inside me is yelling the panic warning. How am I different from that million people out there? Has 21 years of life made me the same?
The answer to that would probably be yes if I myself stopped believing that I am different, if I stopped holding on to my dreams and passions. Being big or small is a trick of the mind, and it is only one mind that can perform it: my own. What I want, what I believe in, what I know I can do-- these are things that make me my own person. A sense of ownership of identity is what makes me big, that is to say, that is what helps me be different because it is what makes me different. Losing my sense of self would be losing to my place in this world.
... Well, there's nothing much to write about, actually. I came to the office on time, I spent some time settling into my new role as an employee of an organization (and as a taxpaying citizen of Philippine society), I met with my superiors, and I read and I read and I read.
Maybe firsts don't always have to be a bang. Or maybe it isn't the bang that makes a first; it's just the fact that it is one.
One thing I realized, though... has nothing to do with the work I did. I realized that in the corporate world, if one does not have even the tiniest sense of one's own person, then it is very easy to be small. I do something that perhaps a million other people around the world do: I struggle with financial terms, I get lost in the complexity of words and numbers, I pretend that it's all perfectly manageable, although a tiny voice inside me is yelling the panic warning. How am I different from that million people out there? Has 21 years of life made me the same?
The answer to that would probably be yes if I myself stopped believing that I am different, if I stopped holding on to my dreams and passions. Being big or small is a trick of the mind, and it is only one mind that can perform it: my own. What I want, what I believe in, what I know I can do-- these are things that make me my own person. A sense of ownership of identity is what makes me big, that is to say, that is what helps me be different because it is what makes me different. Losing my sense of self would be losing to my place in this world.
posted by Denise | 22:37
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