Help!

It was all good three months ago-- I wanted to quit. I was at a nowhere.

How can so much change after three months??? Why don't we just grab what's good for us when it comes along???

I don't know where to start. Okay, I've been put in a crossroads today. There is something I will probably be assigned to at work. It is a big something, and it merited the question from my boss, "Are you committed?"

Am I committed?! I haven't been committed for three months now, becauseI've been dangled by another company, waiting for them to finalize my employment. Saying yes to this commitment will tie me down here for, perhaps, a good six months. I can't say I am committed NOW and still wait for the other opportunity-- what if they call tomorrow and want me to start after the mandatory thirty days post-resignation?

It was all good three months ago. There wasn't anything much to stay for. I was miserable, crying at least twice a week. I was so ready to resign three months ago! Then I became involved with a client that was interesting, and I thought, "I'll stay until this thing is done." Then now, this big something comes along and it's going to change all of that. I cannot dangle anymore. I have to make a decision; my commitment has to be black and white.

But right now, I really don't know whether I'm black or white. And I don't know what's going to tip the scale in one direction or the other. It's really up to me... and that is so scary.